Never before has
raising a pirate been so easy!
In Guide to Pirate Parenting, Cap’n Billy “The Butcher” MacDougall provides everything you need to know to turn your little powder monkeys into happy, healthy buccaneers!
"In the grand tradition of
Dave Barry and
other great humorists,
Tim Bete has
put together
this alarmingly insightful book
on how to raise
your child to
be a happy and
self-sufficient pirate."
-- Rob Ossian, The Pirate Cove
"I loved Guide to Pirate Parenting! It’s as if Cap’n Billy was ripped from me own loins, which would explain that drafty feelin’ I get in me nethers."
-- Mark "Cap'n Slappy" Summers, co-author of Pirattitude! So You Wanna Be A Pirate? Here's How, and co-founder of Talk Like a Pirate Day
"Five stars: I highly recommend Guide to Pirate Parenting, for it is filled with piratical treasure you won’t find anywhere else
and not even
the meanest of pirates will be able to keep a straight face!"
Cap'n Billy will
help you turn your boring, lazy, disrespectful,
disobedient
child...
...into an exciting,
disrespectful,
disobedient plunderer of the high seas or suburbs!
The ONLY
book that can
help you raise your child as a REAL pirate with GUARANTEED results!
Buy your copy today and your kids can begin their pirate lifestyle next week!
Guide to Pirate Parenting
Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall's
?
the inspiration for Pirate Parenting!
Shop at Cap'n Billy's Pirate Store
Plus nursery rhymes about...
If you’re like most parents, you long to raise your children as pirates but just don’t know how. In Guide to Pirate Parenting, Cap’n Billy “The Butcher” MacDougall provides everything you need to know to turn your little powder monkeys into happy, healthy buccaneers.
In Guide to Pirate Parenting you’ll learn:
* At what age your child should be able to remove a bottle cap by taking out his glass eye and using his eye
* Which offense requires administering The Flying Dutchman Wedgie
* How to prevent sogging the quartermaster
* The best place to maroon your disobedient child
* How to remove chewing gum or a giant octopus from your child’s hair
* The difference between plundering and pillaging
* How to convert your minivan into a pirate schooner
* When to smack your teenager in the side of the head with an oar
Each information-packed section ends with “Your pirate’s progress,” a short quiz that shows whether your child is reaching his or her pirate development milestones.
Order today and your child could start
becoming a pirate by next week!
"The funniest pyratical book I've ever had the pleasure to read."
"A fine comic offering from a man who jus' might have tried out all the advice wid his own personal crew."
"A humorous, satirical jaunt through the world of parenting... complete with pirate versions of popular nursery rhymes, checklists
to gage your child's progress, and advice on dealing with pirate teenagers, this book contains little that might actually be useful to parents, but MUCH that might amuse them (especially after a hard day of PTA meetings and changing diapers.)"
(c) 2008, Timothy P. Bete and
Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall
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